I'm Trying To Say I Do
by I Caught Myself
Summary: Jak proposes to Keira! While planning the wedding lots goes wrong, leaving them wondering what will happen on the actual day... Now with an added chapter when Erol and Razer are looking after Jak and Keira's house while they are on their honeymoon!
1. The Engagement

**I'm trying to say "I do…"**

**Disclaimer:**** I don't own Jak and Daxter**

**I will however be using my powers as an author to resurrect people who are supposedly dead for the purposes of the story.**

**Chapter 1: The Engagement**

A party at the Naughty Ottsel. That was where Jak planned to do it. The amount of people here was enough to scare him more than any metal head nest ever would. Keira was standing at the bar with EVERYONE. This would not make it any easier.

"Maybe we should do this another day..." Jak said.

"Come on big guy! You ain't scared of nothing!" Daxter encouraged.

"What if she says no?" Jak asked.

"Why would she?" Daxter asked.

"There was that time I kissed Ashelin." Jak reminded him.

"But she's always loved you!" Daxter protested. "Just go and do it... if she says no... I'll be here to pick up the pieces and tell her she's a stupid cow."

"Thanks Dax." Jak said, and walked towards the bar. "Keira?" He asked. Everyone stopped chatting and looked at him. He felt sick.

"Jak, are you feeling ok?" Torn asked. "You look a bit pale."

"I'm fine." Jak replied shakily. "Are you feeling ok?"

"What...?" Torn asked. "Have you taken something?"

"What? Drugs? NO!" Jak said.

"Jak, are you sure you're feeling ok?" Keira asked. Jak sighed. At least he had her attention.

"Get down on one knee!" Daxter hissed in Jak's ear.

"I can't... I'm frozen." Jak whispered.

"Jak! Stop being nervous and do it!" Daxter snapped.

"Easy for you to say..." Jak growled.

"Jak? Is there something you want to tell us?" Keira asked. Jak sighed. It was going to be now or never. He went down on one knee in front of everyone.

"Keira, I love you." Jak said. "Will you marry me?" he reached into his pocket for the ring, and couldn't find it. Jak froze. He couldn't find the ring box.

"Yes Jak! Did you get me a ring?" Keira asked.

"Uh... yes... but..." Jak replied and stood up, patting all of his pockets. "I think I lost it."

"YOU LOST IT?" Daxter yelled. "DO YOU REMEMBER HOW MUCH WE HAD TO GO THROUGH TO GET THAT RING?"

"What did you have to go through?" Ashelin asked.

"WELL. First there was the metal head nest that hadn't finished being cleared out, THEN we had to find a jewellery shop that didn't think Jak was robbing them and THEN we got mixed up in a gang war AND he had to ask Razer's help to pick one out, and we had to pay him!" Daxter listed everything, counting on his fingers.

"Razer? As in... Mizo team Razer?" Torn asked.

"Yeah." Daxter replied.

"How did you pay him?" Keira asked.

"I don't want to talk about it." Jak replied and cringed. "I FOUND THE RING!" Jak yelled.

"Ooh where?" Daxter asked. Jak took off one of his boots, and tipped it upside down. The ring fell out into his hand.

"Wow that's beautiful!" Keira gasped as Jak slid it onto her finger. The ring was silver with a chip of a blue Eco crystal as the centrepiece.

"Razer helped you pick this out?" Torn asked. Jak nodded. "He must be gay..." Torn mumbled.

"Jak, we have to go and tell daddy!" Keira exclaimed.

"Samos?" Jak asked. His blood ran cold. He had completely forgotten about facing the old Sage.

"Yes silly. Come on." Keira said, dragging Jak out of the Naughty Ottsel to a zoomer parked outside. "He'll be in Haven forest talking to some trees probably."

"I'll – I'll drive." Jak said.

"Are you sure you're ok to drive?" Keira asked.

"Yes I'm fine." Jak said unsurely.

"I'll drive." Keira said, and climbed onto the zoomer, and patted the seat behind her. Jak swallowed down the lump on his throat, and climbed on behind Keira. She grinned, and kicked the engine into life. Jak began praying to any sort of god out there that he would survive Keira's driving.

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They arrived at Haven forest, and found Samos sitting at the bottom of a large tree, seeming to be meditating.

"Daddy?" Keira asked. He opened his eyes to look at them.

"What?" Samos asked grumpily. "I was discussing the weather with this tree when you interrupted me!"

"Daddy, me and Jak are getting married!" Keira announced, showing Samos her hand. "Oops, wrong hand." She said, and showed him the one with the ring on it.

"WHAT?" Samos yelled. Jak slowly backed away, until he was on the other side of Haven forest. _I hope this is a safe distance..._ he thought as he heard Samos beginning to yell at Keira.

**Well guys, that's it for chapter 1, even though it was kind of short... but my maths exam is calling me! ... So is a walk in the rain... Please review! It'll make my day!**


	2. The Best Man

**WOW people like us... me... whatever. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Jak and Daxter. I only own Connor, the random OC**

**Chapter 2: The Best MAN**

The next day at the Naughty Ottsel, eventually after Samos had finished yelling at Keira, Jak decided he should choose who his Best Man was going to be.

"Hey Dax, do you wanna be my Best Man?" Jak asked.

"Well of course! Who else would it be?" Daxter said, hopping onto Jak's shoulder.

"What about me?" Torn asked.

"Why the hell would you be Jak's Best Man?" Daxter snapped.

"1. I am Jak's closest friend that is a MAN, rat." Torn smirked. "2. If I ever get married, which I doubt, then Jak will be my Best Man." Jak looked around the room for an escape, and spotted Jinx.

"Oh, what are you doing here?" Jak asked.

"Heard you were choosing your Best Man." Jinx replied, stubbing out his cigar.

"Oh, not you too..." Jak groaned.

"Jak, YOU are getting married. EVERYONE wants to be your Best Man." Jinx said, prodding Jak in the chest. Sure enough, nearly every male character, good guy or bad guy, ran into the Naughty Ottsel.

"Ok everyone, let me sort this out." Jak sighed. "Go and stand in a line." Jak approached the first person in the line.

"Jinx, why should you be my Best Man?" Jak asked.

"Because, pretty boy, I want you to remember what you're giving up on your big day." Jinx said.

"Jinx... how am I giving you up? We never were anything." Jak insisted.

"I know... that line just sounded good in my head." Jinx shrugged. Jak moved on down the line.

"Razer, why are you here?" Jak asked weakly.

"I want to be your Best Man." Razer said.

"Razer, the Best Man gets first pick of the bridesmaids. Go and see Keira." Jak snapped.

"Why?" Razer asked.

"Because bridesmaids get first pick on the guys." Jak said. Razer hurriedly left the room. Jak went to the next person.

"EROL? How many times have I killed you now?" Jak asked in horror.

"Twice." Erol replied grimly.

"Why the hell would you want to be my Best Man?!" Jak exclaimed.

"So I can kill you at the altar and watch Keira weep over your dead body." Erol said, a psychopathic glint in his eyes.

"Uh... get out... just... get out." Jak said, pointing towards the door. Erol flashed a grin at Jak, and left the Naughty Ottsel.

"Who the hell are you?" Jak asked the next guy in line.

"I'm Connor." The young dark haired man replied, who was wearing a paramedic uniform.

"DO I EVEN KNOW YOU?" Jak asked.

"Nope." Connor replied.

"Why are you here?" Jak asked.

"Judging by what Erol said you'll need a qualified medic at your wedding..." Connor pointed to himself. "... And I wouldn't mind first pick on the bridesmaids."

"Go away." Jak said, and realised he had reached the end of the line. "Where did everyone else go?" Jak asked.

"To go to the cinema... I paid them off with free cinema tickets." Torn said.

"Oh. Ok. Well, Dax is gonna be my Best Man." Jak decided.

"WHAT?" Torn, Jinx and Connor asked.

"It's ok... you guys can be ushers... and Connor can be standby medic!" Jak concluded.

"YES!" Connor punched the air in triumph. "I better go and tell the church that I can't be the priest now!"

"Wha...?" Jak asked, as Connor ran out of the room.

"Maybe he escaped from a secure unit." Torn shrugged, and started doing some Freedom League work.

"What's that?" Jinx asked.

"Mental institute." Torn replied. "Where Erol probably escaped from too." Torn put his head down and began working. Jak, Jinx and Daxter left the Naughty Ottsel. While standing outside, they saw Connor and Erol being chased by men in white coats with tranquiliser guns.

"Oh my God..." Jak said.

"Wow, looks like your wedding's attracting all the psychopaths." Jinx said thoughtfully. "Want me to place mines around the church?"

"Yes please Jinx." Jak sighed. "When Keira finally chooses the venue..."

**Gah this was kinda rushed because I have another exam... and another walk in the rain T_T**

**Again, the reviews will make my day!**


	3. The Venue

**Thanks for the reviews people! **

**Disclaimer: I still don't own Jak and Daxter. Just Connor.**

**Chapter 3: The Venue**

Jak and Keira met for lunch that day to discuss where the wedding was going to take place. They chose a table in the corner, away from the noisy restaurant banter.

"So where are we going to get married?" Jak asked.

"I don't know... it has to be somewhere we can both relate to." Keira replied. "The race track?"

"No. That would just be an Erol magnet and then he'll challenge me to a race to try and kill me." Jak said.

"Ok... erm... the Naughty Ottsel?" Keira suggested.

"Too cheap." Jak replied.

"Oh, we should SO get married in Haven Forest – it would make daddy happy too." Keira said. Jak thought about it. if they did get married in Haven Forest, Samos might accept the fact that he and Keira loved each other. The waiter came over to take their orders.

"Can I take your orders?" Connor asked.

"CONNOR?" Jak exclaimed. "I thought you were a paramedic???"

"I got fired. They found my section orders." Connor shrugged. "Am I still standby medic at your wedding?"

"Jak, why do we need a standby medic?" Keira asked.

"Erol threatened to kill me!" Jak squeaked. "By the way Connor, did you tell the church that you couldn't be the priest?"

"Yeah. They said they'd be sending a replacement later on today. I gave them your address." Connor said and walked away, completely forgetting about taking their orders.

"Jak, why didn't you tell me that Erol threatened to kill you?" Keira asked.

"Because you'd say I'm lying." Jak replied.

"Yes! Why ever would Erol threaten to kill you?" Keira asked. "He's a lovely person, and he's sitting over there! HI EROL!" Keira yelled across the restaurant. Jak turned around and waved meekly. Erol was sharpening a knife, still with a psychopathic glint in his eyes.

"Why is he here?" Jak groaned.

"Erol, come and sit with us!" Keira called. Erol stood up, and walked over to their table. Jak slid down in his seat. Erol sat down next to him.

"Hello, Jak." He said.

"Hi Erol..." Jak said, and shuffled closer to Keira.

"Erol, do you have any ideas where we could get married?" Keira asked.

"I thought we were getting married in Haven forest..." Jak said.

"Shut up Jak!" Keira said.

"The race track?" Erol suggested. "That way I can challenge Jak to a race and kill him!"

"YA SEE? Jak yelled, pointing at Erol. "HE WANTS TO KILL ME!"

"I didn't hear him say anything about wanting to kill you Jak." Keira said. "Perhaps you should go with Connor to the secure unit."

"I'm not insane!" Jak exclaimed. Erol gave him a look as if to say 'I am.'

"Haven Forest then, Jak?" Keira asked, noting the glint in Erol's eyes and realising Jak might have been right all along.

"Yes." Jak said, almost sitting on Keira's lap from shuffling away from Erol.

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"This looks like a nice spot." Keira said, walking into a thicket of trees. "We could ask daddy to twist the tree branches to make an archway."

"Yeah that would be cool." Jak said. "And he could create a barrier that stops Erol getting in. I need a bodyguard..."

"Well, why don't you get one? The bride's family have to pay for the wedding." Keira said. "I'm sure daddy wouldn't mind."

"The thing is, who would be able to keep Erol away from me?" Jak asked.

"OH MY GOD! I HAVE JUST THE PERSON!" Keira screamed, and ran off. "I'LL GO AND ORGANISE YOUR BODYGUARD."

"What am I meant to do?" Jak called after her.

"GO AND GET DRUNK OR PLAN YOUR STAG NIGHT!" she yelled back, and disappeared through the City door.

**HELL YES NO EXAMS TODAY. I really should be revising instead of doing this and watching Lord Of The Rings (hence the archway idea) but I really had to right this down... and watch the film with the most implied yaoi EVER it would seem. Review people!**


	4. The Bodyguard

**Yay reviews! Oh and thanks for correcting my spelling. I was too busy drooling over Orlando Bloom to notice... he's pretty!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Jak and Daxter, only Connor.**

**And I decided to make Tess human again. It's easier to write that way.**

**Chapter 4: The Bodyguard**

Jak, Daxter, Torn and Jinx were sat on a picnic mat in Haven Forest with sheets of paper with various spider diagrams on them, planning Jak's Stag Night.

"So Keira said we could plan it?" Daxter asked.

"No, she told me to go and plan it while she found me a bodyguard." Jak replied.

"Why do you need a bodyguard?" Jinx asked.

"You were there when Erol came to see me about being my best man!" Jak exclaimed.

"Oh yeah! Maybe you will need a bodyguard..." Jinx said.

"Why didn't she ask me?" Torn asked. "I would make an awesome bodyguard!"

"Against Erol?" Daxter asked. "No-one can stop that crazy loon!"

"Thank you, Daxter." Jak said. "I hope Keira does find someone." Jak said. Everyone looked thoughtful, wondering who she could be hiring.

-----------

"And then I promised Jak I'd find him a bodyguard!" Keira whined.

"Then what's the worry?" Tess asked, cleaning glasses at the bar.

"Who can I get to stop Erol?" Keira asked.

"Sig?" Tess suggested. "He's really strong..."

"No. We need someone who'll be able to divert Erol's attention for the whole day." Keira said thoughtfully.

"Do you know of any girls he likes?" Tess asked.

"Me." Keira replied.

"Guys?" Tess asked. Keira's jaw dropped.

"You think Erol is bi?" she exclaimed.

"Well yeah, have you seen the way he looks at Jak?" Tess asked. "Why else won't Jak tell anyone about what happened in prison?"

"Oh. My. God." Keira said. "I think you're right."

"I'm always right!" Tess exclaimed. "So, Jak needs a bodyguard."

"Yes." Keira said. "Do you have any ideas?"

"Oh don't worry, I definitely have an idea." Tess grinned and closed up the Naughty Ottsel and dragged Keira to Kras City.

-----------

Tess strolled into the Bloody Hook, scanning the room. Keira followed meekly behind her, knowing that there were many unsavoury characters around here. She walked over to the bar.

"Where's Razer?" Tess asked.

"Who's asking?" Connor asked.

"CONNOR?" Tess yelled. "WHY THE HELL AREN'T YOU AT THE GUN COURSE?"

"Didn't you hear?" Connor asked. "I quit the gun course so I could work here and save up money to buy a suit for the wedding!"

"Ok whatever." Tess replied. "Where's Razer?"

"I think he's in the back room." Connor said thoughtfully.

"Thanks Connor." Tess said, and dragged Keira towards the backroom.

"Tess, why are we here?" Keira asked, looking around the room at everyone in the bar. "They're all men and they leering at us."

"Oh if they try anything they'll wish they had never touched us." Tess said. She knocked on the door. "Razer!"

"What?" Razer asked and opened the door, smoking a cigarette.

"We've got a job for you, better than being a bridesmaid!" Tess said gleefully.

"I seriously doubt that." Razer said, taking a long drag on his cigarette.

"Oh put that thing out." Keira said. "I need you to keep Jak alive."

"How is this better than being a bridesmaid?" Razer asked.

"Because you get to spend the WHOLE wedding with Erol." Tess replied. Razer's face lit up.

"Even after the reception? Do I get to share a hotel room with him?" Razer asked.

"If that's what you want." Tess grinned.

"Hang on a sec." Keira said, and dragged Tess away from Razer. "Erol is going to kill you."

"He won't kill me!" Tess said. "Razer will have him in chains."

"Which is why he's going to kill you." Keira said. "Do you really think he's going to be happy about spending the WHOLE wedding with Razer, especially now you've guaranteed Razer a room with him?!"

"Which is why I'm going on holiday shortly after the wedding!" Tess said. "Erol will never know that it's me..."

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"Jak, who's Keira hiring as a bodyguard?" Erol asked, pushing the younger man up against the trunk of a tree, while Torn and Daxter looked on in horror.

"I don't know!" Jak squeaked, holding his hands up in surrender. "Tess is probably with her, so she'll know!"

"Thank you, Jak." Erol said, and dropped Jak to the ground. "I could kill you now, but it would be far too easy... ta ta Jak!" and he left Haven Forest.

"Well thanks for the help!" Jak spat.

"You had it handled." Daxter shrugged.

"I knew he wouldn't hurt you." Torn said. Jinx woke up, and rubbed his eyes.

"What happened?" he asked.

**Review please! Reviews, MSN and the sunshine just make my day perfect!**


	5. Clothes

**I'm sorry it has taken me a while to update, but I've been putting my exams first... and there was the issue of writer's block... but it's all good now! Read and enjoy!**

**Disclaimer:** **I do not own Jak and Daxter, only Connor.**

**Chapter 5: Clothes**

"Come on Jak, we're going suit shopping!" Daxter said, leaping onto the blonde's shoulder. Jak groaned. Couldn't he just get married wearing what he was now?

"Dax, what do you know about clothes?" Jak asked.

"Uh... I don't." Daxter replied. "Why do you think I hired Connor?"

"Oh not Connor..." Jak said. He had almost had enough of that loon by now.

"Hey! I am here you know!" Connor said, stepping out from the shadows, wearing a fancy suit.

"What the hell are you meant to be now?" Jak asked.

"I'm now a personal shopper." Connor replied. "The Bloody Hook doesn't pay to well... in legal tender anyway."

"... O... k..." Jak said slowly, praying that this would soon be over. They went to a big shopping centre that had suddenly sprung up out of nowhere in the middle of Haven City.

"This way, gentlemen, is the suit department." Connor said. "I asked your ushers to meet us here." Connor said, pointing to Torn, Jinx and Sig, sitting in the suit department. They spotted Jak, and sighed with relief.

"We thought you'd ditched us with the loon." Torn said, pointing to Connor.

"Hey!" Connor said. "I resent being called a loon!"

"Well it's the truth." Torn muttered under his breath. They all cracked up laughing, except for Connor, who didn't hear.

"What did I miss?" Connor asked.

"Don't worry." Jak replied. "So, suit shopping?" _the quicker we start, the quicker it's over._

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"I can't wear this for a wedding dress!" Keira exclaimed.

"But it was your mother's!" Samos protested.

"It looks like it's been eaten by moths!" Keira said, holding it up. "Do you really want me to wear rags on my wedding day?"

_If it stops this bloody thing going ahead._ Samos thought. "Keira, Jak won't mind what you look like if he really loves you."

"You don't think we're making the right decision! I'll show you!" Keira scowled, and stormed out of the room, taking the moth-eaten dress with her. She stormed into the gun course, where Tess was building new modifications.

"What is THAT?" Tess asked, staring wide eyed at the 'dress' Keira was carrying.

"It's my mother's old wedding dress. Daddy wants me to wear it." Keira said, throwing it to Tess. Tess caught it and unfolded it, inspecting the dress.

"If you leave it with me I might be able to do something with it." a voice said. Tess and Keira whipped around, to see Ashelin standing in the doorway.

"What do _you_ know about dresses?" Keira asked, looking at Ashelin in disgust. She had never forgiven her for trying to get her hands on Jak.

"_I _probably know more than the both of you." Ashelin replied, taking it from Tess and running her fingers over the material. "Being the Baron's daughter did pay off in some ways."

"And what would you want in return?" Keira asked.

"To be invited to your wedding." Ashelin replied. Keira looked at Tess.

"She might be the only person able to sort your dress out." Tess shrugged.

"Fine." Keira agreed. "But if you so much as look at Jak, you're out of there."

"Ok." Ashelin said, walking out of the gun course, still examining the dress.

"Can I borrow a gun?" Keira asked.

"You are NOT shooting anyone in the back." Tess replied. "Wait until the wedding, when she's facing you."

"Fine." Keira said, and smiled wickedly.

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"Connor, I'm getting married, not a civil partnership." Jak said in disgust, looking at the pink suit Connor pulled off of the rack.

"It looks a bit like that ugly suit GT Blitz wore." Torn said thoughtfully.

"Burn it." Jak said, and shuddered. "Just... burn it."

"So Jakkie-boy, what are we all gonna wear?" Jinx asked.

"I don't know!" Jak replied. "Let's just go and find something smart and not outrageously coloured – something black and white – sophisticated."

"Sophisticated I can do!" Connor squealed, and dashed off through the store.

"Do you think we should follow him?" Jak asked.

"We probably should." Sig replied. "But I ain't in any hurry."

"Me neither." Jinx said. Jak looked at Torn.

"I don't care." Torn said.

"Fine, let's follow him _slowly._" Jak said. They were about to go after Connor, when he came running back, with four plain black suits with white shirts and black bow ties.

"What do you think?" Connor asked, holding one up for show. Jak looked at the suit.

"Connor, you are a genius." Jak grinned. _Oh my god. He did something right._

"I know!" Connor said. "I'll go and pay for this stuff, you go and get yourselves busy with more planning and preparation. I can tell this is going to be the best wedding EVER!" and with that he was gone.

"Does this guy scare anyone else?" Torn asked. Everyone else nodded in agreement.

**Another chapter down, slowly bringing us closer to the big day! D**

**Review please!**


	6. Decorations and More Preparations

**Hai there everyone! I warn you now... I have been drinking coke all morning, eating gingerbread and listening to dance music... that usually means hyper!**

**Oh, and in answer to Random Hyper Person's question: Connor is... well he's just Connor!**

**Disclaimer:**** I do not own Jak and Daxter... just Connor.**

**Chapter 6:**** decorations and more preparations**

Everyone was in Haven forest, helping Jak and Keira set up for the wedding. Samos was busy creating an arch out of tree branches and everyone else was helping with decorations while Keira and Jak worked out the seating plan.

"I think we should sit Erol and Razer over there – WAY over there." Jak said, pointing where he wanted them sat on the plan.

"But Jak, that's not even in Haven forest!" Keira exclaimed. "What about here?" she asked, moving Jak's finger so he was now pointing to the table nearest the top table.

"NO!" Jak yelled. "That's within Erol's throwing distance! You've seen that knife he had!"

"Fine... what about right in the middle?" Keira asked. "That way, you'll see if he's trying to kill you because he'll have to find a spot where no-one else is in the way."

"I thought Razer was meant to be stopping him killing me." Jak said.

"Well, we have to take precautions – there's always the chance that he kills Razer." Keira shrugged.

"Wouldn't it be the best wedding present ever if they finished each other off?" Jak asked.

"Why don't you go and check on everyone else while I finish the seating plan?" Keira sighed.

"Fine." Jak huffed, and left her sitting on a tree stump. First, Jak walked over to where Jinx and Daxter were, which confused him.

"Hey blondie." Jinx grinned.

"I thought you two hate each other." Jak said, looking from Daxter to Jinx.

"We became a united front on one issue – Erol." Daxter said. Jak shuddered.

"What are you two up to anyway?" Jak demanded to know. Jinx lifted up and blue print chart.

"This is where Erol will be, and all around the perimeter are grenades, which we'll detonate if he does something we don't like. In the trees are various types of rifle. If we give you a length of string, you can pull it and all of the triggers will be pulled." Jinx explained. "But we better make sure they're aimed at Erol first."

"Aim some at Connor too." Jak said thoughtfully, and wandered away. "Well hi there Samos..."  
"GET AWAY!" Samos yelled. "TWINING THESE BRANCHES IS A DELICATE ART AND YOU ARE DISTRACTING ME!"

"Sorry!" Jak said meekly as he edged away from Keira's father.

"Hey Jak, come over here!" Torn called. Jak walked over to where Torn was, placing flowers on each of the tables. "Did you see what Connor made?"

"What...?" Jak asked in dread. Torn pointed between two trees, where a banner was hung.

"Can you even read it?" Torn asked.

"What? It says 'HAPPY BAR MITZVAH' does Connor realise that this is a wedding, and none of us are Jewish?" Jak asked.

"Apparently not." Torn said. Connor skipped over to Jak and Torn.

"Do you like the banner?" Connor asked.

"CONNOR! I'M GETTING MARRIED!" Jak yelled.

"I know. But I have to go to a Bar Mitzvah after your wedding. I just hung it up there for the paint to dry." Connor said.

"Oh. Alright then." Jak said. "Just make sure it's gone by the time of the actual wedding."

"When is the wedding?" Connor asked. Jak looked at Torn, and Torn shrugged.

"Why are you looking at me?" Torn asked. "Ask Keira!"

"KEIRA! WHEN IS THE WEDDING?" Jak yelled across to her. Keira looked up, and her eyes went wide.

"Erm... I... daddy, when's the wedding?" Keira asked.

"YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHEN YOUR OWN WEDDING IS?" Samos yelled back.

"Why is he yelling?" Torn asked.

"I think he lost his hearing aid." Jak replied.

"We'll get married the day after tomorrow!" Keira concluded.

"Damn, that means I need to organise Jak's stag night!" Daxter exclaimed. "HEY SIG! Wanna help?"

"Sure. It's probably better than decorating this place." Sig replied. So Daxter and Sig went to plan Jak's stag night.

"Keira, have you organised the reception?" Jak asked.

"Oh yeah that's all done. I asked Razer to do it." Keira replied.

"Razer...?" Jak asked.

"Yeah. Come ON Jak. He's gay so it will all be fine." Keira replied. Jak scowled, and walked over to Tess.

"What are you meant to be doing?" Jak asked.

"I'm hanging up all the decorations." Tess replied, gesturing to her handy work.

"Tess... it's ALL pink!" Jak exclaimed.

"I know! Isn't it great?" Tess asked delightedly.

"But – why is it pink?" Jak asked.

"Keira said I could have free reign on the decorations. Maybe if you'd been more involved in the planning then you would have got your own way." Tess replied, hanging up some more streamers. Jak skulked away, and spotted Erol at the archway that Samos had just finished twining.

"Erol? What are you doing?" Jak asked.

"Making a noose." Erol replied, holding up the rope he was using to show Jak. "I just can't seem to get it right."

"Why do you need a noose?" Jak asked absentmindedly.

"Because I'm going to sit in one of these trees and slip it round your neck while you and Keira are saying your vows, hoist you up and then tie a knot so that you hang until you die." Erol replied. "Pretty cool plan, huh?"

"NO!" Jak yelled _I better start writing my vows... _and he snatched the half completed noose from Erol and undid it. "NOT a cool plan."

"I thought it was." Razer said, and winked at Erol. Erol grabbed the front of Jak's shirt, and pulled him down so that his ear was level with his lips.

"Why does Razer keep hitting on me?" Erol whispered.

"I don't know." Jak shrugged. Erol glared at Razer, who walked away.

"Well find out!" Erol snapped, pushing Jak away. "Otherwise – you'll be begging for me to kill you."

"Meep." Jak said, and walked away to where Ashelin was sitting. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm invited to the wedding now. I told Keira that I would fix her wedding dress. Wanna see?" Ashelin said, undoing the suit bag that the dress was in.

"Ashelin..." Jak warned, but she pulled out the wedding dress.

"What? Don't you just love it?" Ashelin asked.

"... The groom isn't meant to see the dress until the wedding." Jak replied weakly.

"Oh. Well... no-one needs to know..." Ashelin said, stuffing the dress back into the suit bag. "And besides, it doesn't really bring back luck... does it?"

"With this wedding anything could happen." Jak sighed, and decided to go back to Keira.

"JAK WAIT!" Jinx yelled.

"Huh?" Jak asked.

"You were about to walk under the ladder that Tess is using." Jinx replied. Jak looked.

"So I was. Thanks Jinx. We don't need any more BAD LUCK." Jak yelled in Ashelin's direction. She glared at him, and went to show Keira the dress.

**Oh noes! Bad luck? A randomly decided wedding date? A Bar Mitzvah banner? Erol and Razer? Pink decorations? I guess it could've been worse... **

**Review guys! ... or face the wrath of Erol and his noose.**


	7. Vows

**Disclaimer:**** I do not own Jak and Daxter... just Connor**

**Chapter 7: Vows**

"GOD DAMN IT." Jak yelled. He screwed up another piece of paper and threw it across the room. Writing wedding vows was much harder than he had expected. He watched the paper bounce off the edge of the bin and fall to the floor. Torn walked into the room, looking at the piles of scrap that littered the floor.

"What are you even doing?" Torn asked.

"Trying to write my vows." Jak replied. "I can't seem to get anywhere with them."

"Well, what have you got so far?" Torn asked, pulling up a chair next to Jak.

"Nothing!" Jak replied. "Help?"

"What's the magic word?" Torn asked.

"Abra kadabra?" Jak suggested.

"That'll have to do..." Torn rolled his eyes. "So, do you have a starting point?"

"If I had a starting point would I be asking for your help?" Jak asked.

"That's a good point." Torn replied. "Have you tried saying that you love her?"

"Well that's obvious, isn't it!"

"Sorry! I'm just trying to help!" Torn said. "Well what do you love about her?"

"Erm..." Jak said. He had never really thought about what he loved about Keira – he just knew that he did.

"This is going to take a lot of work..." Torn groaned.

-------------

"Tess... I don't know what to write for my vows!" Keira whined.

"Why did you both decide to write your own vows?" Tess asked, snatching the piece of paper out of Keira's hands and reading through it. "Why didn't you use the normal ones like everyone else?"

"Because we want it to be special." Keira sighed.

"Well... write about him." Tess suggested. "What you love about him, why you love him... that kind of thing."

"Ok." Keira said. She stared at the piece of paper for a few minutes. "THIS IS RIDICULOUS!" Keira threw her pen down and folded her arms.

"Don't worry hun, we'll get your vows done." Tess smiled and sat down next to her. "I've got a little time before I have to go and set up you Hen Party."

"I wonder if Jak's having any problems writing his." Keira said thoughtfully.

"Probably." Tess said. "After all, he is a guy."

"Because that's not sexist..." Keira rolled her eyes.

-------------

"Torn, this is not helping whatsoever." Jak sighed.

"Really?" Torn asked, opening one eye. "I'm finding this quite relaxing." They were laying in the shade in Haven Forest, near where the wedding had been set up.

"That's because you're not trying to work out your wedding vows!" Jak snapped. "I'm going to look stupid if I can't get anything!"

"Why don't you just make them up on the spot?" Torn asked. "Then they'll be heartfelt."

"I am not going to say the first thing that comes into my head!" Jak replied.

"True. You might ramble on too long and send the congregation to sleep." Torn said.

"You're so helpful." Jak said sarcastically.

"Hey, you were the one that asked me for help." Torn said. "I don't have to be here."

"Then try and help!" Jak exclaimed. "I am getting married in a few days time and I don't even have any vows to say to the woman I love!"

"DID SOMEONE SAY THEY NEEDED HELP WITH THEIR WEDDING VOWS?" Connor yelled, running over to Jak and Torn.

"Oh no..." Jak said, and jumped up. "I'm fine Connor."

"Really?" Connor asked, snatching the piece of paper from Jak. "Because this looks blank to me."

"I haven't written it down yet." Jak snarled, snatching the piece of paper back.

"So, let me hear your ideas." Connor shrugged, sitting down on the grass, cross-legged. Jak and Torn looked at each other uneasily.

"They're still in progress. Maybe when I'm finished." Jak said.

"Fine. Just remember – the rehearsal is tomorrow." Connor grinned.

"We agreed that we weren't going to read our vows during the rehearsal. We're saving them for the actual ceremony." Jak explained.

"Alright then." Connor said. "But if you need any help all you have to do is call me." Connor waved and walked away.

"I really hate that guy." Torn said, watching him leave. "Who even is he?"

"I don't know... I guess... he's just Connor." Jak said. "Come on, let's try and get at least one line."

-------------

"YES!" Keira punched the air in triumph. "I've done it!" she read through the page again. Tess took it from her, and read through it too.

"Don't you think you should cut this down a bit?" Tess asked. "You've written two hole pages!"

"Erm... yeah... maybe." Keira said, and slammed her head down on the desk. "Help?"

"Sure I will." Tess smiled and sat down next to Keira.

**Ok guys please review and tell me what you think! My last exam is tomorrow so hopefully I might be able to update more regularly and the chapters will be better and longer.**


	8. The Day Night Before

**Well I'm becoming slower at updates for some strange reason... oh well. Here's chapter 8.**

**Disclaimer:**** I don't own Jak and Daxter, only Connor.**

**Chapter 8: The Day/ Night Before**

"Nervous?" Sig asked.

"Not really. It's only a rehearsal." Jak replied. "And if anything does go wrong, it gives us a chance to fix it before tomorrow."

"Hey Jak..." Daxter said, strolling into the tent that they had sent up in Haven Forest. "Just thought I'd let you know that Torn has already taken all of Erol's weapons away... or so he thinks."

"What do you mean by 'so he thinks'?" Jak asked in horror.

"Well, Erol just kept pulling them out." Daxter replied. "Don't worry, Keira told me to assure you Razer has it all under control."

"Alright, let's go and get this rehearsal over with." Jak sighed, and they walked out of the tent.

-----------

The rehearsal did not go ahead. Keira had to leave for a catering emergency, and you can't rehearse a wedding just with the groom. So the guys all headed off to Haven City Centre to go and start the Stag Night by completing a pub crawl.

"So who is actually coming to my Stag Night?" Jak asked, sitting at the bar with Sig, Daxter and Torn.

"Everyone." Daxter replied.

"What do you mean by everyone...?" Jak asked.

"Us three, Jinx, Razer, Erol and Connor." Daxter replied.

"WHY?" Jak spluttered. "I mean... yeah sure I'm fine with Jinx but... why the other three?"

"Well Erol said he'd kill you us if he wasn't invited, so we had to invite Razer to keep him under control... and we didn't invite Connor, but you know he'll just turn up anyway." Sig explained.

"This is going to be the worst Stag Night ever." Jak groaned. "Bartender – get me a stiff drink."

-----------

"Okay. That's all of the food sorted out." Keira sighed. "What do we have to do next?"

"Well, Ashelin said she's changed the dress a bit." Tess said. "She said it's finished too, so we could take a look at that and then go and have your Hen Night."

"Alright then." Keira agreed. "Let's go." So Tess and Keira headed to the palace, where they found Ashelin adding a final touch to the dress.

"Oh hey." Ashelin said, when she noticed Tess and Keira standing behind her. "What do you think?" she asked, and moved out of the way.

"OH. MY. GOD." Keira stated. "You've made my dress look like... like... I'LL LOOK LIKE A WHORE!"

"Oh deal with it Keira." Ashelin said. "These are the bridesmaid dresses. I thought I would make them match." She showed them the very slutty bridesmaid dresses.

"ASHELIN! THAT WAS MY MUM'S WEDDING DRESS!" Keira yelled.

"Yeah, well she doesn't need it. Besides, blame Connor. I had to ask him for some patterns." Ashelin said.

"..."

"What?" Ashelin asked.

"You asked _Connor_ for advice on my wedding dress?!" Keira snapped.

"Well yeah. He can do pretty much everything." Ashelin shrugged.

"YOU HAVE RUINED MY WEDDING!" Keira yelled, and stormed out of the room.

"She'll calm down after a few drinks... I'm sure of it." Tess said apologetically, and ran out after Keira.

-----------

"TEQUILA!" Jak yelled, and they all downed their shots. It was now late evening, and the guys were moving on from pubs to clubs. They had also been joined by Connor at some point in the pub crawl, but no-one could remember when exactly. At that moment Erol and Razer strode into the club.

"You started drinking without us!" Razer said with dismay.

"Razer... we started drinking when the rehearsal was cancelled." Jak slurred.

"Where did you two go after the rehearsal?" Torn asked.

"I... uh... we..." Erol started to say. Jak raised one eyebrow quizzically. Erol never stuttered. He looked from Razer to Erol. Then it clicked.

"OH MY GOD EW NO!" Jak cried. "Get me another drink!" he ordered. The barman gave him one and Jak downed it straight away.

"Ah, Jak? 'OH MY GOD EW NO' what?" Daxter asked.

"What do you think?" Jak asked with disgust.

"Oh. OH. OH MY GOD!" Daxter yelled.

"Can someone please explain?" Jinx asked.

"EROL AND RAZER HAD SEX!" Torn announced. Jinx and Sig looked at each other, frowning. Erol looked murderous, Razer was smiling and Jak and Daxter were downing as much alcohol as they could to wash away the mental images.

"I think it's pretty hot actually." Connor said thoughtfully.

"WHAT?" Erol spluttered.

"I SAID I THINK IT'S PRETTY HOT ACTUALLY." Connor said loudly and slowly. The sound of chirping crickets echoed around the bar, echoing the awkwardness of the situation.

"Connor." Jak said.

"Yeah what?" Connor asked.

"Go. Just... go." Jak replied weakly.

"Aw why?" Connor asked disappointedly.

"Because you scare me." Jak replied.

"Aw why?" Connor asked.

"Because of what you just said!" Jak replied.

"Is that it?" Connor asked.

"No. No-one had ANY idea where you came from. You don't have a last name. You change jobs almost every day. You think that the idea of Razer and Erol having sex is hot -" Jak paused to check a text message. "- You made Keira's wedding dress look like the ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW???" Jak yelled.

"Ok. I don't know where I came from either. I just woke up here one day. I do have a last name – none of you ever asked me for it though. I change jobs just because I do. I can't stick at one thing for too long. Yes, the idea of Razer and Erol having sex is hot and I made Keira's wedding dress look like the Rocky Horror Picture Show because I thought it was add some variety." Connor explained. "Anything else?"

"What is your last name?" Torn asked.

"I don't know." Connor replied. "Just because I said I have one doesn't mean I know what it is."

"Then how do you know you have one?" Torn asked.

"I don't." Connor replied.

"But you told us just now you have one!" Jak exclaimed.

"What, and you believed me?" Connor asked. "HA!"

"Okay guys." Jak said. "We're going to a club. We're going to forget all about this with the help of lot's of alcohol. We are going to get even more drunk than we already are, and we are going to enjoy ourselves, got it?"

"Jaaaak! I might get alcohol poisoning!" Daxter whined.

"Then drink coke or something all night." Jak shrugged. "Come on guys, let's go!"

**Oh dear... that doesn't really sound like a good idea, does it? Well people, review please! I might get the next chapter up soon – it depends on my work rota and what else I'm doing.**


	9. The Morning After

**Hello there everyone! Sorry to keep you waiting, but I'm currently addicted to Heroes at the moment and I've been watching it continuously. Onwards with the chapter!**

**Disclaimer:**** I do not own Jak and Daxter. I just own Connor.**

**Chapter 9: The Morning After**

Keira woke up the next morning and opened the window, breathing in some of that nice polluted Haven City air. Then she remembered what today was...

"OH MY GOD I'M GETTING MARRIED!" Keira yelled. She went downstairs, where everyone that had come to her Hen Night was passed out. "Wakey, wakey, we have a wedding to prepare!" Keira said, clapping her hands. No-one showed any sign of waking up. She placed her hands on her hips, and tapped her foot. "Well I'll just have to get my woodland friends to help me!" she decided and went back up. Keira began to sing out of the window she had opened, and all of the rabbits, squirrels, birds, hedgehogs and other woodland animals came to help Keira get ready for her wedding.

**(A/N: I have no idea why that turned out like **_**Sleeping Beauty**_**... it just did for some reason.)**

-----------

The scream echoed all around Haven City. Jak was standing in the corner, basically having a heart attack. Torn rubbed his eyes sleepily and sat up.

"Jak? Wha's all the noise about?" Torn asked. He looked to where Jak was pointing, and joined him in the corner. Soon enough, nearly everyone had joined Jak and Torn in the corner, all in a similar condition, except for Connor, who had pulled out his camera.

"What's so horrifying about it?" Connor asked. "Dude... are you homophobic or something?"

"When it comes to Erol and Razer, YES!" Jak yelled. At that moment, Erol and Razer stirred, and noticed the crowd standing around them.

"Can we help you?" Razer drawled.

"NO!" Jak yelled. "YOU CAN GET OFF OF MY FLOOR, OUT FROM UNDER THAT SHEET AND DRESSED FOR MY WEDDING!"

"Oh I didn't again..." Erol groaned, burying his face in his hands.

"Yes you did." Razer beamed, and pull Erol into his arms and kissed his forehead.

"JUST LISTEN TO ME!" Jak screeched and stormed upstairs to the bathroom to brush his teeth and have a quick shower. When he came back downstairs, he found Connor lighting a fire.

"Oh hey Jak." Connor said. "Your heater just blew up so I'm burning this suit I found in the back of your wardrobe. It looked familiar for some strange reason though."

"What?" Jak asked, and looked at the burning suit. "HOLY CRAP CONNOR THAT'S MY SUIT – FOR MY WEDDING!"

"What?" Connor said. "Oh! So it is! That's why it looked familiar!"

"ARE YOU COMPLETELY RETARDED?" Jak exploded. Connor's eyes welled up with tears.

"All I wanted was a group of friends who liked me for who I was." Connor sighed. "If you really want me to go, then I will."

"Jak! How could you be so mean!" Daxter snapped, patting Connor on the shoulder. "It's okay Connor, you can stay for as long as you want."

"Really?" Connor sniffed.

"Of course!" Daxter exclaimed. Jak's left eye began to twitch.

"What about my suit?" Jak asked.

"Oh Jak, Jak, Jak, I always come prepared." Razer sighed. "Don't worry, I have a spare."

"Thanks Razer." Jak smiled. "Sorry for my overreaction about you and Erol earlier... though it was kind of frightening."

"Hey! I heard that!" Erol scowled.

"Alright boys, let's make this the best day of Jak's life... even though he's acted like a total bitch to me!" Connor said, glaring at Jak.

"You just get gayer every day." Jak said, shaking his head.

-----------

Keira went downstairs, and found everyone awake and ready to go. Her jaw dropped. Tess ran towards her, making adjustments to Keira's veil.

"Hey sweetie, you didn't need to get dressed by yourself!" Tess said.

"I didn't. YOU were all too busy sleeping, so I went upstairs and got freakin' woodland animals to help me get dressed! FREAKIN' WOODLAND ANIMALS!" Keira snapped.

"Doesn't that happen in Sleeping Beauty?" Ashelin asked.

"Since when did you know about fairy tales?" Tess asked.

"Daddy used to make Erol read them to me before bed." Ashelin replied. There was a knock at the door, rousing everyone from disturbing images of Ashelin as a little girl in pink room decorated with unicorns and rainbows with Erol reading bedtime stories in a creepy way.

"Who is it?" Keira called.

"It's me! Your father!" Samos yelled through the letter box. "Let me in!"

"Sorry daddy!" Keira said, and ran to the door and opened it.

"Keira... I thought you were wearing your mother's wedding dress." Samos said.

"I am." Keira replied. "But Connor decided to turn it into the Rocky Horror Picture Show." Keira said.

"Connor?!" Samos exploded. "You mean that Connor guy that showed up out of the blue?!"

"Yeah..." Keira said.

"ARGH! I HIRED HIM TO WATER MY PLANTS AND HE KILLED THEM ALL!" Samos yelled.

"Daddy it's okay – Connor is helping Jak." Keira reassured him.

"Oh. That's good then." Samos said. "So are you ready to go?"

"Yeah. Let's go to the forest." Keira sighed.

-----------

"RAZER! IS THIS SUIT G.T. BLITZ'S?" Jak demanded to know, storming out of his bedroom.

"Erm... well, if I say yes..." Razer stammered.

"I AM SO GOING TO KILL YOU!" Jak yelled, when Torn grabbed his arms and stopped him going Darkie and killing Razer there and then.

"Jak! You'll just have to find a suit now." Torn said. "I'll help you – we'll just go straight into town and back again."

"Okay. Razer, go to Haven Forest and tell Keira we're going to be late when she gets there." Jak said. Razer grabbed Erol by his collar.

"Come on handsome, you are coming with me." Razer purred.

"Why?" Erol asked.

"Because – I don't want to get bored waiting around." Razer winked and Erol sighed and followed Razer out of the door.

"That's just disturbing." Daxter said, shaking his head.

"Right. Let's go to town." Torn said, and dragged Jak out of the door and to the bus stop. Everyone else left behind looked at each other.

"What do we do now?" Daxter asked.

"We go and sort out the limo." Sig replied. "We're probably gonna have to pay them extra for waiting for Jak and Torn."

"Anyone got any change?" Daxter asked.

"Nah." Jinx replied. "We could always threaten the driver with a car bomb."

"Jinx... we don't wanna get arrested!" Daxter exclaimed.

"It was the best suggestion we have." Jinx shrugged, and lit up a cigar.

**Okay guys, keep reviewing! Not that many chapters until the actual wedding now!**


	10. The Emergency Shopping Trip

**Here we go – another step closer to the wedding. This is being uploaded quicker because I've run out of Heroes episodes *sob***

**Disclaimer:** **I do not own Jak and Daxter – I only own Connor.**

**Chapter 10: The Emergency Shopping Trip**

So Jak and Torn were trying to get a taxi into town, and were being very unsuccessful. Jak tried to wave another cab, but they drove straight past.

"Why can't we drive ourselves?" Jak asked.

"Because we're both way over the legal alcohol limit still after your Stag Night." Torn replied. "Oh screw this, let's just walk."

"But that's going to take ages!" Jak hissed. "My wedding starts in four hours!"

"Oh we can get there and back in time again – trust me." Torn said, so they started walking into town.

"At least it's sunny today." Jak said. "Torn – I have a feeling that this wedding is going to be perfect!"

"Well you're the only one." Torn said. "Think of everything that's gone wrong so far."

"Torn, it's all going to be okay." Jak said a bit too confidently.

"Jak – you did look at Keira's wedding dress, didn't you?" Torn asked.

"Yeah... but they completely changed the design so surely I won't have any bad luck." Jak replied. "Besides, why are you suit shopping with me? Daxter's my best man."

"Daxter is going to tell Keira what happened. Besides, I'm second best man." Torn said.

"But I never delegated a second best man." Jak said, confused.

"Deal with it." Torn snapped. Jak scowled at him, and they walked for a while in silence. Suddenly, they heard a car horn and Connor pulled up beside them.

"Hey guys, I thought you might need a lift." Connor said.

"..." Jak and Torn said nothing, just glared at Connor.

"What?" Connor asked.

"Connor, you're driving a PEDAL CAR!" Jak pointed out. Connor looked around.

"Well I'll be damned! It was real a second ago!" Connor exclaimed.

"Sure it was Connor. Suuuuuuuure." Torn said sarcastically.

"Hey! I thought I spoke to you about being mean to me!" Connor sniffed.

"Connor, he didn't mean it, we're both just a little bit stressed." Jak said apologetically.

"Y'know, I could get you a real car." Connor said, climbing out of the pedal car.

"And how is that?" Torn asked bluntly. Connor pushed him into the road, right in front of an oncoming car.

"Watch and learn." Connor said to Jak.

"CONNOR YOU –!" Torn screeched, and the car carried on heading for him at a high speed. The car stopped just in time, and the driver got out.

"WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU DOING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD?" the driver yelled as they approached Torn. Connor grabbed Jak by the front of his shirt, and dragged him into the car.

"Hey lady – WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU DOING DRIVING THAT FAST?" Torn yelled. "YOU WERE WAY OVER THE SPEED LIMIT."

"AND WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?"

"I'M THE LEADER OF THE FREAKIN' FREEDOM LEAGUE!"

"And on behalf of the Freedom League, I'm confiscating your vehicle." Connor announced. "Torn, get in." Connor said. Torn climbed in the back of the car, and Connor started the engine.

"Connor, what gives you the right to confiscate vehicles on behalf of the Freedom League?" Torn asked. Connor chucked his badge onto the backseat.

"I joined up last week." Connor said.

"I didn't authorise it." Torn said. "And this is a Krimzon Guard badge!"

"I know. Erol said he'd sign me up so I didn't have to worry about going through all of the formalities – he also mentioned something about taking you all down by rebuilding the Krimzon Guard."

"Is this true?" Jak asked.

"Yeah. Do you think I'm the kind of person to lie?" Connor asked.

"Jak... I'm having words with Erol after your wedding." Torn said. Connor pulled up outside a suit shop.

"Well good luck guys!" Connor said as Jak and Torn got out of the car and he drove away. "CALL ME WHEN YOU WANT A LIFT BACK!"

"Come on, let's go and get a suit." Jak sighed.

-----------

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU CAN'T GET ME A NEW SUIT?" Jak yelled at the shop clerk.

"At this short notice we can't tailor one to fit you exactly." The shop clerk said.

"I'm getting married today! I need that damned suit!" Jak protested.

"What happened to your old one?" the clerk asked.

"... My friend burnt it." Jak replied.

"Look here – I'm the leader of the Freedom League. If you don't get this nice young man a suit RIGHT NOW I will drag you down." Torn threatened. "I won't even need a reason, I have that much authority."

"I'm sorry sir." The clerk said, mopping his brow nervously. "What size did you say you were young man?"

-----------

"Okay... how does this one look?" Jak asked, stepping out from behind the curtain. Torn looked him up and down.

"It's a perfect fit. Jak, you look stunning." Torn replied.

"... Stunning?" Jak asked.

"Jak – I should've told you every day since the moment I met you – I love you." Torn blurted. Jak's jaw dropped.

"Please... _please_ say you're kidding." Jak pleaded.

"I'm not." Torn said. "I can't throw you away Jak. I can't."

"..."

"Say something. Please?" Torn asked.

"I'LL TAKE THE SUIT JUST GET AWAY FROM ME!" Jak replied. "And you! Go and call Connor! Tell him I want to go straight back to Haven Forest!" he demanded, pointing at Torn.

"... That wasn't what I was hoping for..." Torn said in a matter of fact tone.

"JUST GO!" Jak yelled.

**Awww poor little Jak is getting mega stressed. OH WELL. Reviews actually make me write quicker... so review if you want more!**


	11. On The Way

**Disclaimer:**** I do not own Jak and Daxter – only Connor**

**Chapter 11: On The Way**

"So you managed to get a new suit then." Connor said, carelessly weaving through the traffic in Haven City, cutting very close to other vehicles and walls. Jak flinched as they narrowly missed a pedestrian crossing the road.

"Yes I did." Jak said.

"With my help." Torn added.

"I'm not talking to you." Jak snapped, and turned to stare out of the window.

"OOH! Why aren't you talking to Torn?" Connor asked. "Is it because he ate the last slice of pizza last night?"

"He did WHAT?" Jak yelled.

"He ate the last slice of pizza last night." Connor said, nearly running over a small child.

"... Did we even have a pizza?" Jak asked.

"Well, me and Connor did." Torn shrugged. "We found it in the freezer, under about five tons of ice-cream."

"Don't talk to me." Jak scowled. "Connor, how long until we reach Haven Forest?"

"Depends where the diversion takes us." Connor said.

"What diversion?" Jak asked.

"That one." Connor replied, and swerved the car suddenly. "Oh yeah, you might want to put your seatbelts on." Connor said thoughtfully.

"Thanks for the warning Connor." Jak glared, as the force of going round the corner had thrown Torn across to his side of the backseat.

"What? I thought you guys had some sense!" Connor exclaimed.

"So why are we taking a diversion?" Jak asked, shoving Torn back to the other side of the seat.

"I got bored." Connor shrugged.

"We're taking a longer route... just because you got bored?" Jak asked.

"Yeah." Connor replied. "Have you got a problem with that?"

"YES!" Jak yelled. "I have to be at Haven Forest in TEN MINUTES!"

"Jak... calm down." Torn said.

"DON'T EVEN TALK TO ME!" Jak screeched.

"Jak you know what happens if you get angry..." Torn said.

"Does he turn into the Incredible Hulk?" Connor asked.

"NO!" Torn yelled and slapped Connor round the back of the head. "He goes all Dark Jak."

"Explain." Connor said. Torn knelt on the backseat, so that his head was between the front seats so he could talk to Connor easier.

"When Jak was in prison Erol and Baron Praxis injected him with Dark Eco and now when he gets angry he turns into a Dark Eco freak... he goes all purple with massive claws and black eyes." Torn explained.

"Like that?" Connor asked, pointing to the rear-view mirror.

"Yeah. Just like that." Torn said. "How did you get that in your mirror?"

"He's sitting in the back with you." Connor said, pointing behind him. Torn gulped and turned around. Sure enough, Dark was sitting in the back with him and looking very, very angry. Torn screamed like a little girl – or that could've been the little girl that Connor had just clipped with the front of the car.

**(A/N: actually, I'm pretty sure it was Torn that screamed like a little girl, so onwards!)**

"GET ME OUT OF HERE!" Torn screamed.

"How?" Connor asked.

"I DON'T KNOW! BUT HE'S GONNA EAT ME!" Torn replied.

"... He might look like some sort of evil demon but I don't think he's going to eat you." Connor said bluntly. "Torn, take the wheel while I look at something."

"Fine." Torn grumbled and climbed into the seat next to Connor and grabbed the steering wheel.

"I know it's around here somewhere..." Connor muttered, rummaging around under the seat.

"What are you looking for?" Torn asked.

"AHA!" Connor let out a triumphant yell as he pulled a book out from under the car seat. The title of the book was: _How to turn Dark Eco freaks back into their normal selves without bloodshed_.

"... Where the hell did you get that book?" Torn asked.

"I carry it around with me everywhere." Connor replied, flicking through the pages. "Here we go!" and Connor found the chapter titled 'Jak'.

"What does it say?" Torn asked, peering at the book.

"FOR GOD'S SAKE TORN, KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE ROAD!" Connor yelled. "You narrowly missed a child just then!"

"And how many narrow misses have you had?" Torn asked sceptically.

"Just keep your eyes on the road!" Connor snapped. "Found it!" Connor climbed inbetween the seats, so he was sitting in the back with Dark Jak. Torn was secretly hoping that Dark Jak was going to rip Connor to shreds.

"Be careful Connor." Torn said.

"Awww see, you're not so dangerous, are you?" Connor soothed, as if talking to a cat. Torn turned around, and saw that Connor was scratching Dark Jak behind the ears and stroking his hair. Dark Jak was... _purring_? Dark Jak slowly reverted back into normal Jak, who yawned.

"THAT'S how you stop Dark Jak?" Torn asked.

"Yep." Connor replied, climbing back into the driver's seat and taking the wheel again. "But it has side effects."

"What?" Torn asked. Jak yawned again and curled up on the backseat and went to sleep. Torn's jaw dropped.

"Doesn't he look cute?" Connor asked.

"Connor! He has a wedding to get to... how long will he be asleep?" Torn asked.

"Who knows." Connor replied.

"We've got to wake him up." Torn said, climbing into the back of the car again. "How long until we get to Haven Forest?"

"We're there." Connor said, pulling up outside the gateway.

"Then we need to wake him up now!" Torn snapped. "Go and find out what's going on – I'll wake him up."

-----------

"HI GUYS!" Connor yelled, walking into the clearing.

"Connor! Where's Jak?" Daxter asked. "Keira's in a marquee waiting for him so we can start the wedding."

"He's asleep in the car." Connor replied. "It's okay though – Torn's waking him up."

"Are you sure he isn't dead?" Erol asked.

"Why would Jak be dead?" Daxter asked.

"No reason." Erol replied, hiding a vial of poison behind his back. Razer snatched the vial and looked at it.

"Erol, why do you have poison?" Razer asked. Erol whistled innocently.

"Did you poison Jak?" Daxter asked.

"Well, I poisoned someone." Erol shrugged. "I can't remember whose drink I put it in."

"You mean... one of us is poisoned?" Jinx asked.

"I guess so." Erol replied.

"So one of us is gonna die." Sig said.

"It's likely." Erol said.

"Erol... we need you to remember who's drink you put it in." Connor said.

"Is there an antidote?" Razer asked.

"Yeah. But I don't have it." Erol replied.

"Then who does?" Daxter asked.

"I don't know." Erol replied. "Did you really think I would know where the antidote was if I wanted to poison and kill Jak?"

"Let me sort this out!" Connor said, and pulled out a chemical analysis kit. He took the vial from Razer, and began to run all sorts of tests on it to tell him what chemicals were used and what the antidote would be. "Someone go and find Torn and warn him. The car is parked that way."

"I'll go... it is my fault." Erol said and walked off towards where Connor said he had parked the car.

-----------

"Come on Jak, wake up." Torn said urgently. He slapped him. Jak still didn't wake up. Torn looked in the boot of the car, and found some band equipment. Torn picked up some cymbals, and crashed them right beside Jak's head. He still didn't wake up. Torn tickled Jak and he still didn't wake up.

"Is there a problem?" Erol asked, walking over to Torn.

"He won't wake up." Torn replied, standing back and looking at Jak thoughtfully.

"By the way – I came to warn you that someone got poisoned last night." Erol said.

"What?" Torn asked.

"One of us has been poisoned." Erol replied.

"Who did it?" Torn asked.

"I have no idea..." Erol lied. "But Connor is working on an antidote right now."

"Do you think it might be Jak?" Torn asked fearfully.

"Let me try and wake him up." Erol said. He walked over to Jak and shook him gently. "Hey Jak, you need to wake up." Erol said softly. Jak stirred, and went back to sleep.

"Now what?" Torn asked. Erol looked at Jak.

"Oh hell." He said, and kissed Jak. Jak woke up, and punched Erol so hard he slammed into the gateway.

"WHAT THE BLOODY HELL WAS THAT?" Jak asked.

"I was just trying to wake you up." Erol replied picking himself up off the floor and brushing himself down.

"Now why the hell didn't I think of that?" Torn asked.

"OH DON'T YOU START!" Jak yelled.

"Come on Jak, you have a wedding to get to." Erol said, pointing to the gateway.

"That I do." Jak said, and walked through the gateway.

"Are we going to tell him about the poison?" Torn asked.

"Nope." Erol replied, and they followed Jak into Haven Forest.

**Ah ha ha I just thought I would throw the poison in to make things even more complicated. Review please people!**


	12. The Wedding

**Hurrah! The actual wedding! Most of it probably isn't accurate, because I have only ever been to one wedding, and I don't really remember much of the actual ceremony...**

**Disclaimer:**** I do not own Jak and Daxter – only Connor.**

**Chapter 12: The Wedding**

Jak was standing at the altar, under the archway made of tree branches woven together, Torn standing beside him with Daxter on his shoulder much to his disgust.

"Where the hell is the priest?" Jak asked.

"I am here." Seem said, walking into the clearing.

"You have to be kidding me." Jak said. "_Seem_ is marrying us?"

"No-one else in this place seems to follow any kind of religion – except for Seem and the other monks." Connor explained.

"Connor – you forgot to take down the Bar Mitzvah banner that you hung up to dry." Jak pointed out. "Get rid of it – now."

"How?" Connor asked. "Do you think I carry a ladder around in my pocket?"

"Well you seem to be able to do everything else!" Jak snapped. "Just cover it up or something."

"With what?" Connor asked.

"I don't know!" Jak replied. "Torn, help him cover it up!"

"Too late." Torn said. "Keira's coming."

"You have to be kidding me." Jak groaned. Torn was right. Connor began to play the wedding march on the organ as she walked down the aisle with Samos, Tess and Ashelin behind her. They reached the altar – and then the rain started. Jak sighed. They should've expected that the weather wouldn't have stayed perfect for the wedding. Then he heard the crash of thunder and flinched.

"Jak? Are you okay?" Keira whispered, now standing opposite him.

"Sure. Thunderstorms just make me a tiny bit nervous." Jak said. "You look..."

"Yes?" she asked, waiting for him to say 'beautiful'.

"... You do look like the Rocky Horror Picture Show! For God's sake Connor, why did you tell Ashelin to do that?" Jak asked.

"I thought it brought a nice theme to the wedding." Connor replied.

"Whatever. Can we get on with this?" Jak asked. _The sooner we get out of the thunderstorm the better._

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to witness the joining of Jak and Keira in Holy Matrimony. If anyone has reason why these two should not be married, speak now or forever hold your peace." Seem said. Jak could tell Samos REALLY wanted to make an objection, but that was outweighed by the fact he that he wanted to see his daughter happy.

"I OBJECT!" someone yelled. Jak turned around, a fiery glare on his face.

"Torn... I am going to kill you." Jak said.

"I can't let you marry her! I love you!" Torn declared. Everyone went silent, and the sound of crickets chirping could be heard once again.

"We can't continue this wedding until this is cleared up, can we?" Jak asked.

"Nope." Seem replied. "Please, take all of the time you need."

"I OBJECT TOO!" Erol yelled.

"If you say you love me too I'm going to..." Jak started to threaten him.

"No don't worry. Someone in this congregation is poisoned! And it could be YOU Jak!" Erol announced.

"Why did you just announce that like I'm some sort of game show contestant?" Jak asked.

"I didn't mean to." Erol replied. "Connor made enough antidote for all of us. We should all drink it now, before the poison can kill us."

"Fine, just hurry up so I can sort Torn out." Jak said, and everyone downed the antidote. "Okay... Torn, come with me." Jak scowled, dragging him into the marquee.

"What?" Torn asked.

"Take back your objection!" Jak hissed.

"Why?" Torn asked.

"Because I can't marry Keira until you do!" Jak replied.

"Good." Torn said smugly and folded his arms.

"What is wrong with you?" Jak asked. "I want to marry the woman I love – I am NOT gay!"

"How do you know Jak?" Torn asked.

"Right. I've had enough of you know." Jak replied, and knocked Torn out. "Damn he has a hard head." Jak cursed, rubbing his hand. He ran out of the marquee and sealed all of the exits and ran back to the altar, now completely soaked by the rain.

"Can we continue?" Seem asked.

"Yeah, go for it." Jak replied.

"Where's Torn?" Keira asked.

"He decided he wasn't going to attend the ceremony – I'm sure he'll be back for the reception." Jak replied. _If he regains consciousness..._

"Okay then." Keira said, and smiled at him.

"I assume you have prepared your vows, Jak?" Seem asked.

"Huh what? Oh vows. Yeah. Of course." Jak said, and laughed nervously.

"Would you start for us, please?" Seem asked.

"Sure." Jak said, his mind racing for something to say. He took Keira's hands in his, and stared into her eyes. "Keira, you are the world to me. I want to be the one to wake up next to you every morning. I want to be with you every day of my life." Jak said, and took the ring from Daxter, who was now sitting on Sig's shoulder. Jak slid it onto her finger. Keira looked at Seem, who nodded at her.

"Jak – I love you. I always have done and always will." Keira said and took the ring from Daxter, and slid it onto Jak's finger.

"Is that all?" Jak murmured.

"Yep." Keira muttered.

"Oh." Jak said.

"Keira, do you take Jak to be your lawfully wedded husband?" Seem asked.

"I do." Keira replied, tears shining in her eyes.

"Jak, do you take Keira to be your lawfully wedded wife?" Seem asked.

"I..." Jak started to say, when Torn stormed back up to the altar.

"You're meant to be unconscious!" Jak snarled. "And how the hell did you get out of that marquee?"

"I carry a knife. HELLO I cut myself out!" Torn said.

"Jak! You knocked Torn out?" Keira asked, horrified.

"Well yeah – like he was ever going to take back his objection!" Jak replied.

"Exactly! I'm not going to!" Torn yelled.

"If you really love me you'll be able to let me go!" Jak said.

"Jak – I can't do that." Torn said.

"Yes you can." Jak said. "You can do it for me. Understand that I love Keira, not you."

"Fine." Torn growled.

"Thank you." Jak sighed.

"Jak, do you take Keira to be your lawfully wedded wife?" Seem asked again.

"I do." Jak replied quickly, before anyone else could interrupt him.

"I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride." Seem declared. Jak took Keira in her arms and kissed her, thanking the God's that the wedding had been pretty uneventful – and then they were struck by lightning from the thunderstorm.

"Unlucky." Connor observed. "MAKE WAY, MEDIC COMING THROUGH!"

**Okay people review please! And don't worry, there's more to come after this chappy. **


	13. After the Wedding

**Thanks for pointing out that rain on your wedding day is lucky. I didn't know that, but I do know!**

**Disclaimer:**** I do not own Jak and Daxter – just Connor.**

**Chapter 13: After the Wedding:**

Jak opened his eyes to see Connor leaning over him. Jak pushed Connor away and sat up. He looked around and saw Keira was already awake.

"What happened?" Jak asked.

"You were struck by lightning – look!" Connor said joyfully and poked Jak, who sparked. "Isn't that cool?"

"No. It hurts." Jak snapped. "Is Keira okay?"

"It seems you absorbed most of the shock." Connor said. "She's fine."

"Good." Jak sighed.

"Oh, but I think it would be better if you didn't have any direct contact with anyone – you and them are likely to get a nasty shock." Connor said. Erol walked over and took one look at Jak who was now sitting up.

"Isn't he dead?" Erol asked.

"Nope." Connor replied.

"Damn." Erol cursed.

"Are we going to the reception now?" Jak asked.

"If you're feeling okay." Connor replied. "Remember – no contact with anyone."

"Yeah, yeah I know." Jak said stroppily.

"Let's go then!" Connor said and helped Jak stand up, only getting a small shock.

"Didn't you feel that?" Jak asked.

"What the shock? Nope." Connor replied.

"Why not?" Jak asked.

"Wearing rubber gloves." Connor replied and held up his hands.

-----------

The reception. Oh dear... that means speeches. Jak stood up, holding his wine glass.

"I bet you're all expecting me to make a really long and boring speech now." Jak said. Everyone in the hall groaned.

"Jak... you couldn't even write your own vows, let alone do a speech." Torn muttered.

"So I'm not going to do a speech. All I'm going to say is thanks for coming and helping us celebrate this special day." Jak said and sat down. "See? That wasn't long and boring."

"Yeah well, we still have Samos's speech to go... and then mine." Daxter said. Samos stood up.

"As you all know, I wasn't very happy when I found out about Jak and Keira's engagement because I did not approve. I always thought my daughter could do better than this and so..." Samos started droning on and on.

_Fifteen minutes later..._

"... and I would just like to wish my daughter happiness with her new husband and if he breaks her heart I will break him." Samos finished and glared at Jak.

"Erm... thanks Samos – I'll remember that." Jak said nervously. "Dax, are you gonna do your speech?"

"Am I ever!" Daxter jumped up on the table so everyone could see him. "I have been waiting FOREVER for these two to finally got their act together and admit their feelings! Despite I did try and get Keira to go out with me a few times... WHATEVER. I'm still not sorry for interrupting every kissing attempt they had – it was fun!" Daxter said. "All I really wanna say is FINALLY and wish you guys the best of luck... and Keira, if you get bored of Jak there's always a space on the couch." Daxter wiggled his eyebrows and Jak drew a finger across his throat, glaring at Daxter.

"Are we done now?" Torn groaned.

"Hey! We still need the party!" Daxter said.

"Party?" Torn asked fearfully.

"Yep." Jak said. "And this time – you are going to dance."

"Make me." Torn said and stuck his tongue out at Jak.

"You hear that guys? We've been given a challenge." Jak grinned.

"Oh bugger." Torn said.

-----------

Once all of the tables and chairs were cleared out of the way, Connor began to set up his DJ equipment.

"Are we that cheap we hired Connor to do _everything_?" Jak asked.

"Well the bride's family have to pay for the wedding so yeah." Keira replied. Connor finished setting up his equipment and jumped down to where Jak and Keira were standing.

"Right – I'm off to that Bar Mitzvah now." Connor said, holding up the banner. "All you have to do is press play and it'll go through all of the music for the wedding."

"Aw, why can't you stay for the party?" Jak asked.

"Because I promised I would go to the Bar Mitzvah." Connor replied.

"We will see you again, won't we?" Jak asked.

"I don't know. After the Bar Mitzvah I'm meant to be joining the Navy." Connor replied. "I guess this is goodbye my friends." Connor said.

"At least stay for the first dance." Jak pleaded.

"Sorry I can't." Connor said. "I'm going to miss you guys!" Connor cried and pulled Jak and Keira into hug.

"Connor... not cool... let go of me." Jak said.

"Sorry." Connor sniffed, backing away. "Goodbye." He said and left the room. Razer walked over to Jak and Keira.

"Did Connor just leave?" Razer asked in shock. Keira nodded.

"I'm gonna miss that guy..." Jak said.

"Jak – are you crying?" Keira asked.

"No!" Jak replied and wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. "I'm just gonna miss him. I got used to having that crazy guy around."

"Come on, let's go and have our first dance." Keira said, dragging Jak onto the dance floor.

"Alright!" Daxter said, scrambling onto the DJ equipment. "Let's see what Connor rigged up for this ceremony." Daxter pressed the play button, and the DJ equipment exploded. Everyone turned around to look at Jinx.

"What?" Jinx asked. "I didn't want Connor to go to the Bar Mitzvah so I rigged up the DJ equipment to explode. I didn't want to kill him – just injure him."

"Jinx – he's already gone." Jak said.

"C-Connor's gone?" Jinx asked.

"Yes Jinx, he left for the Bar Mitzvah a few minutes ago." Jak replied, wiping his eyes again. "So now what are we going to do for a party?"

"We could hit the town?" Erol suggested.

"We haven't even cut the cake yet!" Keira said.

"Oh my God we haven't!" Jak exclaimed. "Who made the cake?"

"Connor." Keira said.

"I should've guessed." Jak sniffed. "Okay guys, let's go and have cake!"

"HELL YES! This means I don't have to dance!" Torn punched the air in triumph.

"Oh don't worry Torn, we'll make you dance." Jak said, snatching the cake knife out of Erol's hands.

"Hey!" Erol scowled.

"No-one trusts you with knives!" Jak snapped. "Especially not me!"

"I was just holding it for you... and imagining the sharp blade cutting into your flesh and the blade being tainted with the crimson colour of your blood." Erol said.

"Razer! Control him!" Keira ordered. Razer grabbed Erol and hugged him close to him.

"Let me go." Erol demanded.

"No." Razer said stubbornly. Torn stepped forwards and took the cover off of the cake and everyone gasped.

"That is the most beautiful wedding cake I have ever seen!" Tess exclaimed.

"I don't want to cut it." Jak said.

"Me neither." Keira said.

"Well if you guys aren't going to..." Erol said, and took the knife from them. Razer tried to grab the knife from Erol and they cut the cake together.

"That was our first official act as a couple." Razer declared and kissed Erol. Everyone just stared in shock.

"You cut the cake..." Jak said.

"Well yeah – you weren't going to." Razer said. "Who wants a slice?" everyone was too busy staring in shock to answer. Razer had just ruined the last memory of Connor they had left.

**Reviews would make my day! **


	14. The Day After the Wedding

**You want a Light Jak moment now? Okay I think I can do that!**

**Disclaimer:**** I do not own Jak and Daxter or Harry Potter or "Never gonna give you up" by Rick Astley O.o – only Connor.**

**Chapter 14: The Day After the Wedding**

Jak woke up the next morning and he couldn't be happier. He had finally married the love of his life AND had managed not to be killed by Erol. Keira had already got up and the smell of a cooked breakfast was wafting its way up the stairs. He yawned and rolled over, snuggling back down into the bedclothes.

"JAK! BREAKFAST IS READY!" Keira called up the stairs. Jak sighed and swung his legs over the side of the bed, fumbling to get dressed. He went downstairs into the kitchen, where no-one was to be found.

"Keira? Where are you?" Jak asked.

"In the garden!" she answered. Jak walked outside to see several tables had been joined together.

"Keira? Why is EVERYONE here for breakfast?" Jak asked.

"I said I'd cook breakfast if they helped us pack for our honeymoon." Keira replied, dishing up breakfast. "Go and sit over there."

"Next to Erol...?" Jak asked weakly.

"Well if you had woken up earlier you could've sat where you wanted." Keira replied. Jak sighed and went to sit next to the psychopath.

"How's it going?" Jak asked.

"One day I'm going to kill you." Erol growled.

"I know." Jak said. "Pass the butter."

"No." Erol said.

"Now you're just being damned awkward!" Jak cursed.

"Yes." Erol said, spreading butter on his toast.

"Keira! Erol's being mean to me!" Jak whinged. "Anyone wanna swap seats?"

"Jak! If you're nice to him then maybe he'll be nice to you!" Keira scowled.

"I am TRYING to be nice! What do you want me to do, offer my head on a spike?" Jak asked.

"ARE YOU GUYS HAVING YOUR FIRST ROW AS A MARRIED COUPLE?" Connor asked.

"CONNOR???" everyone exclaimed.

"The one and only!" Connor said, creating a chair out of thin air and sitting himself between Jak and Erol.

"I thought you were joining the Navy." Jak said.

"I was... then I ended up at Hogwarts and they taught me some cool stuff – like conjuring chairs out of thin air." Connor explained. "Then I got bored there and decided to come back and see you guys!"

"Connor we missed you!" Keira exclaimed and threw her arms around him.

"Ahem." Jak said.

"Oh yeah, am I interrupting your row?" Connor asked. "Don't mind me, please, continue." Connor said.

"You don't need to kill yourself! Just respect each other!" Keira said.

"How can I respect a man that wants to kill me?" Jak asked.

"Can I step in here?" Connor asked.

"Please do." Jak replied.

"In war you generally respect the soldiers on the other side." Connor said. "Because usually they are fighting for the same goals as you – land, their country – sometimes they have no choice of whether they want to fight or not."

"Connor – just stay out of the argument." Jak said.

"What, because you're losing?" Connor teased.

"Shut up Connor!" Jak hissed.

"It's good to be back." Connor sighed, leaning back in his chair and conjuring a piece of toast. "Hey Erol, pass the butter."

"Sure. Here you go." Erol said and passed Connor the butter.

"Cheers." Connor said.

"Can I have the butter after you Connor?" Jak asked.

"What do you say?" Connor asked.

"Please?" Jak said.

"Yeah sure! Oh wait – Keira! We're out of butter!" Connor said. "All we have is this Olive Spread – but in my opinion it tastes disgusting."

**(A/N: it actually does... trust me.)**

"Someone go and buy some butter." Jak said.

"Jak, you're the only one that needs the butter so why don't you go and get some?" Erol asked.

"Because I can't be bothered. I'll pay someone to do it." Jak replied.

"I'll do it for a kiss!" Torn volunteered.

"Screw you!" Jak exclaimed and ran out of the door.

"Damn it." Torn cursed.

"Torn – leave my husband alone." Keira said. Torn scowled at Keira.

"OH BUGGER!" Jak's scream was heard. Everyone ran outside to the front lawn to see Jak caught in a bear trap. Everyone turned around to look at Erol.

"What?" Erol asked. "I never said I was gonna give up."

"NEVER GONNA GIVE YOU UP..." Connor started to sing.

"Damn." Jak said.

"... NEVER GONNA LET YOU DOWN..." Connor continued.

"I think we just got Rick Roll'd." Jak said.

"... NEVER GONNA RUN AROUND AND DESERT YOU!" Connor finished.

"CONNOR SHUT UP!" Jak screamed. "Can someone help me out of this bear trap now?" they opened the bear trap and pulled Jak out.

"Are you okay Jak?" Keira asked.

"Yep." Jak replied. He turned to look at Erol. "As for YOU!" he suddenly spouted wings and started glowing blue.

"Ah crap." Erol said as Light Jak picked him up and flew over the City. Erol started to change a peculiar shade of green, as he does not like flying. "Is this the part where you use your Light Eco Powers to redeem me from my dark side?" Erol asked.

"No... I was just going to drop you." Light Jak replied.

"WHAT?" Erol asked. "You can't do that! You're the good guy!"

"Yeah – and you tried to kill me." Light Jak said.

"Fair point." Erol shrugged. "Please don't drop me!"

"Why not?" Light Jak asked. "Give me one reason."

"Keira will hate you." Erol pointed out.

"I guess you're right." Light Jak sighed and turned back into normal Jak.

"Erm Jak..." Erol said.

"What?" Jak asked.

"You don't have wings anymore." Erol said.

"Oh." Jak said and looked down. "BUGGER!" Jak screamed and began to flap his arms, dropping Erol in the process. They were falling to their doom...

... and then they found themselves in Jak and Keira's front garden with everyone staring at them.

"Hey wait – we were falling to our doom." Erol said.

"How the hell did we get here?" Jak asked.

"I went to Hogwarts – remember?" Connor said.

"Oh. Thanks Connor." Jak said.

"Don't mention it." Connor said, helping Jak and then Erol to their feet.

"Can we go and start packing now?" Keira asked. "We're leaving for our Honeymoon tomorrow morning!"

"Sure – as long as you provide lunch and dinner too." Connor said.

"Fine." Keira sighed.

"SCORE!" Connor punched the air in triumph. "This means I don't have to go back to the soup kitchen tonight!" and he went into the house with everyone else following.

**I think that went well! Review please!**


	15. The Happy Ending

**I'm sorry to say that this is going to be the last chapter because I thought that it would be nice for Jak and Keira to enjoy their honeymoon, seeing as everything else went so wrong!**

**Disclaimer:**** I do not own Jak and Daxter – just Connor.**

**Chapter 15: The Happy Ending**

They were standing outside the house at 4 a.m. waiting for the taxi to take them to the port in Kras City. The whole of yesterday had been spent packing for the honeymoon, with basically every single other character to help. Jak and Keira had only managed to throw them all out at 11 p.m. and they had only had about three hours sleep each.

"Where is Connor?" Jak grumbled. It was cold standing on the side of the street at 4 a.m.

"He'll be here." Keira said, shivering.

"Are you sure we did the right thing, leaving the house in Erol and Razer's care?" Jak asked. He was still having doubts whether they had chosen good house sitters.

"Erol is not going to trap the house, okay?" Keira sighed. "He doesn't need to kill you anymore because he doesn't love me. You've seen how good he and Razer are together."

"Yeah. It makes me sick." Jak mumbled. They heard the sound of an engine and picked up their suitcases in hope... but then a bus drove past.

"If he isn't here soon, we'll be late." Keira said worriedly.

"Who gets on the bus at 4 a.m.?" Jak asked. "There wasn't even anyone on the damned bus!"

"Maybe it was going back to the depot." Keira suggested.

"Can we go back inside?" Jak pleaded. "We can have some breakfast!"

"You can't be hungry! You ate five pancakes for breakfast about half an hour ago!" Keira exclaimed.

"Is there even going to be any food left when we get back?" Jak asked.

"Oh for God's sake! Erol and Razer are NOT going to eat all of the food in our house!" Keira snapped. "Don't you think they're more responsible than that?"

"Nope." Jak said. A man in a flat cap on a bike rode past, ringing the bell when he spotted Jak and Keira.

"Don't say it." Keira warned Jak.

"WHO RIDES A BIKE AT THIS TIME OF NIGHT?" Jak asked.

"I give up." Keira groaned. They heard a clip-clop sound from down the road. A few minutes later, Connor arrived, driving a horse drawn carriage.

"Sorry I'm late. The car broke down, so then I had to break into some random farm and steal the horses and the carriage." Connor said. "I also got attacked by several guard dogs." Connor held up his arm, which was wrapped in a bloody bandage.

"Can we just go?" Jak asked. Connor helped them into the carriage and threw the luggage in with them.

"By the way, the road's a little bumpy." Connor said and they started off towards Kras City.

-----------

When they reached Kras City, it was 5 a.m.

"What time does our cruise leave?" Jak asked.

"6 a.m." Keira replied. "They want us on board by 5:30 a.m."

"Okay then." Jak said. "Connor, it looks like this is where we leave each other."

"Yep. I have to go get ready for work. I got a new job with a shipping company." Connor said. "Have fun you guys!" Connor said and disappeared into the chaos that was the port.

"Keira?" Jak asked.

"What?"

"What do we do with the horses and the carriage?" Jak asked.

"Erm..." Keira didn't know. In the end, they tethered them to a railing and set off to find their cruise ship. It was a big white cruise liner and had been very expensive to get tickets for.

"Keira, do you think we'll have to get paying jobs when we get back to Haven to pay for all of this?" Jak asked.

"Probably." Keira replied.

-----------

At 6 a.m. on the dot, they left the port. Jak and Keira would've been on deck waving goodbye to everyone at the port, except they were asleep in their cabin. About four hours later, they decided to go up on deck and stare out across the sea.

"I can't believe we finally got married and managed to get away from everyone." Jak said.

"It's just you and me now." Keira said and snuggled up to Jak.

"OH MY GOD! YOU TWO ARE ON THIS CRUISER?" someone yelled. Jak and Keira turned around with a sense of dread. Standing in front of them was Connor, in a waiter's uniform.

"Connor! You said you were working for a shipping company!" Jak snapped.

"Did you assume I was working on a freighter or something?" Connor asked.

"Well yeah." Jak replied.

"I'm not. I work cruisers. OH MY GOD! I can help you celebrate your honeymoon!" Connor exclaimed. Jak and Keira were horrified. Suddenly, Jak had an idea.

"Hey Connor, is that a shark?" Jak asked, and pointed out to sea.

"A SHARK? WHERE?" Connor asked and ran to the railing. Jak ran up behind him, and pushed him over the railing. Connor landed in the water with a splash. Jak threw a life ring overboard too and waved.

"Okay – now it's just the two of us." Jak grinned and slipped an arm around Keira.

"There wasn't really a shark, was there?" she asked.

"Nope." Jak replied.

-----------

Connor had been floating in the life ring for about half an hour now and was not happy. He thought Jak and Keira were his friends. If they didn't want him around, they could've just ASKED him to leave them alone.

"I guess I better wait here to be rescued. Maybe they can pick me up on the return journey..." Connor said. He then remembered what Jak said. "OH CRAP WHERE'S THE SHARK???"

**The End**

**Thanks to all of you who have been reading and reviewing! Don't worry, Connor will return someday. Just keep your eyes open!**


	16. House Sitting

**Hello everyone! I've been on holiday for a few weeks, hence my lack of writing. I thought this would be a good way to finish this, after Jak being worried about Erol and Razer looking after his house and I couldn't just leave Connor in the middle of the sea!**

**Disclaimer:**** I do not own Jak and Daxter**

**Chapter 16: House Sitting**

Erol was roused from sleep by a knock at the door. He stirred and rolled over, finding the space next to him empty and the smell of bacon wafting upstairs.

"Razer!" he called. "Stop cooking and answer the door!"

"I'm going." Razer called back up and took off his 'kiss the cook' apron. Erol heard him muttering to himself in German. It was likely he was swearing about how lazy Erol was but he needed to go for a shower before he had breakfast. Razer opened the door and was startled by who was standing there.

"Hi guys, can I stay here?" Connor asked.

"What happened to you?" Razer exclaimed. Connor was completely soaked and covered with seaweed and various sea creatures.

"Jak threw me off a cruise ship and then I had to walk all the way here." Connor said and pulled a starfish out of his hair and walked into the house. "The least he owes me is lodging in his house."

"Erm... you'll probably have to talk to him about that..." Razer said, following Connor through the house.

"Yeah well, he's too busy away on his honeymoon so I'll just assume it's a yes and go for a shower." Connor snapped and stormed up the stairs. Razer shrugged and went back into the kitchen, putting his apron back on and returning to his cooking. He heard Erol and Connor screaming, and remembered at that moment Erol had gone for a shower.

-----------

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE?" Erol screamed.

"I NEED A SHOWER!" Connor yelled back. "LOOK AT ME!" he twirled around, showing Erol the state of him. Erol was busy covering himself with a towel to even bother looking at Connor.

"I dont care! How the hell did you even get into the house?" Erol asked.

"I knocked on the door and Razer opened the door. Then I walked in. How else do people get in houses?" Connor asked.

"Just get out. I haven't finished showering." Erol snapped.

"You're not the one covered in various sea plants and creatures... OUCH!" Connor yelled and pulled a crab out of his t-shirt. "WHERE DO THEY KEEP COMING FROM???"

"I DON'T KNOW JUST GET OUT!" Erol screeched and pulled the shower curtain back around him.

"Can I shower with you?" Connor asked.

"GET LOST."

-----------

"Why do we have less for breakfast than usual?" Erol asked, sitting down at the table, towel drying his hair.

"Because I've had to share ours out for Connor." Razer replied.

"What?! Why?" Erol asked.

"Erol, we have to feed him because it seems like he's staying here whether we like it or not." Razer sighed.

"He can't!" Erol exclaimed.

"Why not?" Razer asked.

"Because Keira is trusting us to look after the house! You know what Connor is like!" Erol replied.

"I know. But we'll just have to deal with him in a sensible manner." Razer said. "CONNOR! BREAKFAST!"

"I'm coming, I'm coming." Connor called, coming downstairs. "I kinda didnt bring anything with me so I decided to borrow your dressing gown." Connor said, walking into the kitchen, now clean and missing the sea plants and creatures.

"Fine." Razer said, making a mental note to buy a whole new one. "Keep it."

"Wow thanks." Connor said, sitting down at the table. "So what's the plan for today?"

"Plan?" Erol asked. "What makes you think we plan out the whole day?"

"Well, because you two dont have any ideas I thought I'd come up with a few suggestions of my own." Connor said, reaching into one of the pockets of the dressing gown and pulling out a notebook, which he flicked through until he found the right page.

"A few?" Razer asked.

"Yeah." Connor replied. "I thought we could go shopping this morning and then have lunch in a restaurant and then in the afternoon we could do some more shopping and then come back here and get ready to go out and have a meal this evening and then maybe hit the clubs. What do you think?" Connor asked, looking from Erol to Razer.

"I was going to head over to Kras today to sort out some business." Razer replied.

"I need to Ashelin. She was talking about offering me a new job." Erol said.

"Oh." Connor said, putting the list away. "Well, Razer can go to Kras City to do his business and me and you will spend the day together!"

"Ashelin might want me to start immediately." Erol said.

"Maybe she'll give me a job too!" Connor said. "We can be work buddies!"

"No. We can't." Erol said through gritted teeth.

"I think that's an excellent idea!" Razer smirked. The phone rang and Erol went to answer it, glaring at Razer.

"Hello, this is Erol."

_"Hey Erol, it's Jak."_

"Oh hi Jak! How's the honeymoon?" Erol asked, pretending to be interested.

_"It's good. How are you guys doing?"_

"Oh we were okay, until this morning."

_"What's happened?"_

"Do you remember your cruise there?"

_"What does that have to do with it? That was two weeks ago."_

"There was a man overboard, wasn't there?"

_"How do you know about that?"_

"HE SHOWED UP HERE!"

_"Oh. Is he mad?"_

"He's Connor! Of course he's mad!"

_"I meant is he angry!"_

"Oh, no. He just thinks you owe him so he's staying here with us."

_"Oh. Unlucky."_

"How do I get rid of him?" Erol hissed.

_"I don't know. Look, we'll be back later today. Just deal with him for now, I'm sure you'll be fine. I have to go now. I'll call you later, when we get off the boat." _Jak said and hung up the phone. Erol walked back into the kitchen, sulking.

"Jak said he'll be back later today." Erol said, then he suddenly had an idea. "Why don't you stay here Connor, and make sure the house is tidy for when they get back?"

"Sure!" Connor said cheerily. "I'll see you both later tonight."

"Bye Connor." Erol said, following Razer out of the house. "You better get back from Kras quick today."

"Erol, business is business. I can't rush what I do." Razer said.

"I do NOT want to be in the house with him by myself he'll probably go all psycho on me and I'll be dead by the time you get back!" Erol panicked.

"Are you scared of him?" Razer asked, the corners of his mouth twitching.

"HE'S AN UNPREDICTABLE MADMAN! OF COURSE I'M SCARED!" Erol snapped.

"Did you just describe yourself or Connor?" Razer asked, now wearing a fully fledged grin.

"I'll see you after work." Erol growled.

"Bye." Razer said, still grinning.

-----------

Erol arrived back at Jak's house, not in a good mood. Ashelin had refused to give him a job in the Freedom League after a psych consult, saying that he was 'mentally unstable'. Erol had countered this 'accusation' by telling her she would be too after being killed twice by the same person. Erol walked into the house, greeted by a horrifying sight. Connor had converted the whole of the downstairs into some sort of laboratory.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" Erol demanded, walking over to Connor and drawing his pistol.

"I got bored so I decided to split some atoms!" Connor said, his hands in the air in a pose of surrender.

"Isn't that how you make an atomic bomb?" Erol asked.

"Yep." Connor replied, lowering his hands.

"DON'T EVEN THINK OF SPLITTING AN ATOM." Erol ordered, thrusting the gun at him. Connor's hands shot into the air.

"Erm, Erol – I should probably..."

"Did the phone ring while you were here?" Erol cut in.

"Probably." Connor said. "I don't know."

"Why not?" Erol asked.

"I had to disconnect the phone to install that thing there." Connor replied.

"What is that?" Erol asked.

"I don't know, it just looked cool!" Connor replied. At that moment, a key turned in the lock and Razer walked in. His eyes widened.

"WHAT DID YOU DO?" he shrieked.

"HE turned Jak and Keira's house into a laboratory." Erol said.

"THEY'RE GOING TO BE HERE ANY MINUTE!" Razer yelled. "Hey, what's that?"

"That's the bomb... and it's linked to a timer." Connor said proudly. "We have 1 minute before it explodes."

"You mean... you made an atomic bomb?" Erol asked.

"Yep." Connor replied.

"OH SHI-" Razer and Erol yelled. They grabbed Connor and dragged him out of the house, just as Jak and Keira drove up.

"Hey guys, why are you all looking so scared?" Jak asked.

"CONNOR MADE AN ATOMIC BOMB!" Razer and Erol screamed. Everyone looked at Jak.

"What?" he asked.

"You're the heroic one!" Keira spluttered.

"Okay... LET'S GET OUTTA HERE!" Jak screamed, and everyone bundled into the car. Erol pushed Connor out.

"Fix it!" Erol hissed.

"I don't know –" Connor was cut off by a small explosion.

"Was that it?" Keira asked.

"Yep. That was the bomb." Connor replied.

"You said it was an atomic bomb!" Jak exclaimed.

"No... that was just the bomb. I hadn't split the atom yet." Connor said.

"Okay... we are NEVER letting any of you in our house, unattended AGAIN." Jak said.

"But we didn't do anything!" Erol and Razer protested.

"You let him in! You left him here on his own all day!" Jak spluttered. "You should've known he would do something like this!"

"I did warn you that he's an unpredictable madman." Erol smirked.

"Aren't you an unpredictable madman?" Connor asked. Erol's expression darkened.

"Erol, if you want to kill him please do it somewhere else." Jak sighed.

"With pleasure." Erol said darkly. Connor looked at Jak and pointed at him accusingly.

"YOU OWE ME! YOU PUSHED ME OFF A BOAT!" Connor protested.

"I'm not getting in Erol's way." Jak said. "Good luck Connor." Connor looked back at Erol, and decided it would be a good idea to run. So he did, with Erol chasing him. Razer walked over to Erol and Keira.

"Razer, where did Erol get that axe from?" Keira asked.

"No idea." Razer replied. "Now, why don't we go inside? I'll make some tea and you can tell me all about your honeymoon..."

**Okay, this is actually the end now, until next time Connor decides to show his face :s**


End file.
